Friday, September 26, 2014

So, you want to marry a foreigner?

Yesterday my husband and I had the chance to talk on the Christian radio and tell our story how we met and talk a bit about life, love, etc.

Before the program started we were chatting with the hosts about our unusual marriage. I am an American, and my husband is Latvian and we live here, in Latvia. Most people when given the chance would go back to the States. But when I married my husband I knew that I'd be here, forever. I accepted that and most days I am ok with it. But the truth is leaving ones country, culture and family never gets easier.

9 years ago I fell in love with man I call my husband. We are happy, we are blessed. We have 3 kids speaking 2 languages. But the fact is I would not recommend cross-cultural marriages to anyone.

Why?

  1. The top reason by far is family. My family was close growing up and the distance between me and them now means my kids will never be close to their aunts and uncles and cousins in the US. That breaks my heart. Holidays are never spent together. There are no family gatherings or birthday parties. SAD. Tickets for 5 are way too expensive for us to see them often.
  2. Marriage is hard with anyone. But when you throw in culture and language it gets even harder. These are things that can be worked through and do help us grow. But they they sure get in the way when it comes to understanding each other as one would like.
  3. Your self identity in a foreign country- whether that be yours or your spouses' will never (maybe it will after many years) be quite as comfortable in a new country as in ones own. I have lived here 9 years. I speak the language fluently. But I am still an outsider in many ways. 
Are you married to a foreigner? What is your story? 

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