In this dark and scary world I find myself at times overwhelmed with, "What ifs?"
I was shocked and saddened with the world at the deaths in Colorado- in a seemingly safe place- a theatre.
I woke early the next morning with scary dreams of being chased down and trying to keep my children quiet in hiding, an impossible task with toddlers. I found myself gripped with fear and a million what ifs?
- What if my son were to grow up to commit such a crime?
- What if I am not raising my children properly?
- What if we go somewhere and get shot today?
- What if the forest is full of hidden gun men?(as we were out gathering mushrooms)
Every what if squeezed joy and life from my frame.
But then I remembered what I had read just the day before in the book that God has placed in my life just when I need it most. "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow. I had just read a chapter on facing the what ifs in our lives.
She had shared what one young man had done to face his fears and his what ifs in three steps: (pg. 163-Calm my Anxious Heart)
- Ask yourself what is the worst that can possibly happen?
- Prepare to accept it if you have to.
- Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.
The truth is that worrying never improves anything. The truth is that there is One greater than all my worries and He is the only one capable of changing anything. When I worry I am not trusting Him.
Thinking within the perspective of those 3 steps guides me to be the person I ought to be today.
My worst fear and greatest WHAT IF in raising my children would be for them to turn their backs on their Creator and for them to commit some hideous crime like the one in Aurora.
However, I cannot know what their future holds. I could raise them perfectly in every way and pray for them night and day-BUT I cannot control them or force them to have a personal relationship with Jesus. It has to be their choice-their transformation. The truth remains that I must accept the decisions they will make- while guiding them now in a straight path.
That is the conclusion- I MUST be present in their lives, loving on them, praying for them, training and guiding them to be the people they will become and in doing all this I am doing ALL that I can to prevent and improve upon the worst.