Saturday, April 2, 2016
It all started last summer when this girl would ride her bike down our road and stop and talk to him over the fence. At the time I thought her older than him by a couple of years. I also thought her rather pushy- like wanting him to share his snacks or ice cream with her- and he didn't even know her. Over the course of the summer they came to know each others names, and as much as kids do over the fence.
September 1st came and it turns out she was put into the same first grade class as he was- needless to say he was pleased- since he then knew at least one of his new classmates.
It is now April and he still thinks her awesome- though from what I gather she doesn't like him talking to her in school and doesn't sound very friendly to him while there.
But when it is the weekend and she rides by our house again on her bike and they both meet at the tree swing on our street with her cousin and other kids then she is friendly.
D-boy had been pestering me to let her come visit. First I said he could invite her to come play in our yard- she did one evening.
Then he wanted her to come play Legos with him. I told him he could ask her if her Mom agreed and if he cleaned up the house. They finally got their schedules as arranged as much 7 year olds do and can and she said she'd come around 6 p.m if her Mom let her.
D-boy then went to work cleaning the first floor all afternoon as well as doing his homework. I was shocked to find out my 7 year old can do more than clean the play room as he did an AWESOME job cleaning, vacuuming and tidying up the whole first floor (not the kitchen- that is my spot) . I thought, "WOW, look what liking someone and planning for their visit can do to a boy!"
6 p.m came and went and this girl didn't show up. My son paced and fretted. I told him maybe her Mom wouldn't let her come because she really doesn't know us, other than us living on one block and them going to the same class. He convinced Dad to go on a bike ride with him- which was really an excuse to see if she was at the tree swing or out in her own yard.
Bedtime came and my boy cried and cried (he is very emotional) because she hadn't come- or given word that she couldn't. I cheered him with the thought he'd see her in school tomorrow and could ask her why she hadn't come.
The next day came and went and I was eager to hear from my son why this girl hadn't shown up. We were surprised to hear she hadn't even asked her Mom, and that she didn't even want to come and that is why she didn't bother to ask!
All this drama has led to a lot of conversation with my boy about being fickle, and changeable and not keeping ones word. We've talked alot about why this girl is mean/ignores him in school yet is friendly here and how that it isn't kind to be two-faced like this.
Yesterday in school D-boy asked her why she acts so strange to him in school and different here on our own block. She said she doesn't want the other kids to know she knows him. . . (that makes this Mom heart ache)
So here are the complexities of first graders- and I thought all of this drama would start later when my kids were older.
So Mom's - - how have you handled first loves and classmates like this with your kids? And do first graders actually make good friends? As it seems to me my boy is not fitting into his class and he says he doesn't have a friend he talks to much. There have been boys on and off he said were his friends, but now he says they aren't because they all like roughing around and he doesn't.