Let them be themselves

Its been a long time since I wrote here. But a conversation I had with my 6 year old made me want to write.

Lately- the news if full of transgender bathroom talk- and the whole transgender theme. And reading those articles I wondered how I'd feel if that talk ever came up with my child.

Today at breakfast my darling 6 year girl said out of no where, "I don't want to be a girl. I want to be a boy," and she started crying.

I was shocked to say the least- because never before has she mentioned wanting to be a boy. I wondered what had brought on this idea.  Had some snide comment from a brother, or some fear of something she'd overheard?

I reminded myself that on occasion my oldest son has said he wished he was a girl. But the root of that is that he doesn't like the rowdiness of the boys in his class and he REALLY likes one girl in his class. He thought if he was  girl she'd talk to him more . . . But I told him all the extras of being a boy- and he got over that.

Today when my girl was crying I hugged her and asked her why she had said that. She couldn't answer me- and in time I realized that perhaps this was just a sudden feeling she had. On occasion I remember feeling that way a girl- when my brothers got to do things I didn't as a kid.

I told my girl all the great things about being a girl that boys don't get to do: having babies, wearing dresses, painting their nails, being princesses, brides, etc. Then we painted her nails, hugged and moved on.

But in my heart I kept praying and wondered. Could it be that the fight our culture and world is undergoing is so strong that our kids feel this influence, confusion and dislike of self even if they have never heard it discussed before.

We are in a battle for the hearts, bodies and identities of our kids.

Each child is a precious gift to us- made in the image of a perfect Creator!

I am so thankful for the gender of each of my kids and excited to meet the surprise growing within me.

Lets let our kids BE themselves and embrace the full masculinity and femininity of the persons they were made to be.

How do you encourage your kids to be all BOY and GIRL?

Encouragement For Moms

Today I stumbled upon this lady's blog and it is so full of encouragement for Mom's. I cried my way through this video and it was so TRUE and so blessed for my discouraged moments. 

You are a mighty MOM! Don't give up! 

Understanding our Daughters- A Letter to my Daughter

My darling, 

Now you are 3- but there will come a day when you will be a teenager. You will grow tall and even more beautiful and opinionated and then what? 

Yesterday I watched a movie- Ice Princess. Perhaps when you get a wee bit older we can watch it together. It is about daughters following their dreams and mothers understanding their daughters and misunderstanding their dreams. 

When I was growing up my Mom and I worked together, sewed together, cooked together, studied together, and grew together. But we did not dream together. 

My Mom never seemed to understand my dream to live in a foreign land and serve as a missionary. From the time I was 12 my calling or passion was clear to me. I heard a missionary speak about the need of English teachers to Chinese students and I thought, "I could do that." Long before the seed of a servants heart had been planted within me as our Dad read us stories of great missionaries. 

And so I grew up. I finished our family's home-school program. And I continued to dream. I knew I needed to study and I set my mind on attending a Christian college. I went against my Mom's wishes and will. 

Four years were spent at that college preparing me with Bible classes and every other course required to get my B.A in Intercultural Studies. I spent my practicum in China teaching English one summer- and that dream came true. 

Then I graduated and wanted to fly away to fulfill my dream. After a year of working 3 jobs and some help from a kind brother I was debt free. 

And that is how I ended up here- as an English teacher. 

Through 4 years of college and the years in between coming and teaching and finally marrying here I struggled with my Mom not understanding my dreams. 

I know that she loves me- but I didn't feel we understood each other. 

Now, as I raise you- my precious girl I want to be close you. I want to understand you and support your talents and dreams- no matter how different they might be than my own. 

Last night your Daddy and I talked about your futures. 

Some parents want their children to be famous musicians, or artists, athletes  or actors. 

We will never push you or your brothers to be that- unless you want it. 

Our desire for each of you is that you are well educated, and well balanced in  your learning. We will gladly give you music lessons and whatever else you need to understand your likes and talents. 

We want you to be a woman who had a kind and loving heart, we want you to know that you are beautiful on the inside and to take good care of this body God has blessed you with. 

We want you to pursue your dreams and talents in a healthy way and to do the things you love most. 

We want you most of all to know what this life is about and to know where you are going when it ends. 

We want you to live this life and this day to the fullest as you walk towards eternity one day at a time. 

We want to understand you, to love you and to support you each day of your precious life- our dearest daughter. 


- - - -

Note: I love my Mom dearly and in time we have grown closer. I know that she has wanted the very best for me and even though I have not done things the way she would have liked she loves me just as much as I love my dear girl.

My Children - Part 1

Each of these little lives God has entrusted to me are full of such unique character and amazing differences.

And as I watch them grow and wonder at their individuality I see over and again that God has blessed me with these three little people to grow me, and teach me about HIMSELF. IF I will only let Him work in my stubborn, selfish heart.

Our firstborn is now 5 and half. He is tender hearted, emotional and creative. He made me a mother and was the first one to test my patience and faith. And now as I see myself raising him , I realize that I expect a lot of this little man.

I have always expected perfection of myself- even though I know I will never be perfect. I have always tried to play by the rules and do the right thing.

And I see as my teach my boy at home, and go with him to school preparation, and train him that I expect perfection of him as well.

Lately, God has been reminding me through all kinds of circumstances and lessons that I MUST accept my son for who HE is and that he IS perfect as he is without attaining perfection in behavior, academicsor anything else.

This boy of mine is the tool God uses to teach me that perfection is not required, of me or of him. 

The End of Me

It's another one of those days when nothing gets done and no one naps. When Mom is fed up to her ears in noise, toys and squished blueberries.

The kids are worn out from long summer evenings. My toddler has a snotty nose and she is crabbier than any two year old has a right to be. The baby is an angel and naps like a dream. But yet nothing seems to get done.

I feel I run circles wiping up messes, putting toys back, trying to harvest our bounty from the garden, keep meals on the table and keep my head afloat. It is no wonder I caught a cold.

I find myself at times stepping aside and looking at my life through the eyes of another me. One who can see things from the side and in perspective rather than in the frenzy of the moment.

I desire peace. I desire greater love. I desire to be an ideal Mommy and a great wife. 

Yet I run around grouchy, feelings of guilt crowding out my joy at all the unfinished and half accomplished tasks of my daily life.

It is quiet moments when I look at my life that I realize that what I am doing NOW is the life I am to live. My purpose and joy needs to come from doing a job well done in the little tasks I do every day.

The ME screams out that I am getting nothing done, that I must pursue MY business and write MY  stories. That I must have time for ME and MY hobbies and MY desires.

But these little persons in my care are in fact very needy folks. They are the ones I must give MYSELF to now. If I have everything in this life and yet my little people were to go down the wrong path in life I would always regret not having given more of me.

It is I who can influence them now and lay the foundations for a solid future. It is my husband and I who must teach them values and discipline and strength of character. It is I who must teach them when to lend a kind hand and when to be firm.

Only when I set aside the selfish ME am I able to be the person I was intended to be just now. The invisible Mommy. 

A Mommy Day

It all began with a need to have some quiet, me time. 

I decided to go to Riga (the capital of Latvia) and get a few things for the cake I need to make this weekend.  

First I went to a supply store I had never been to. I was shocked and elated at the huge selection of food supplies, cake supplies and all kinds of other things for restaurants. This was the first store I have seen with a selection like I am accustomed to in the States. Needless to say I am elated to have finally found a store with most everything a baker and cake decorator could desire :) 

One of my finds was a rose mold very similar to this one. I have a lot of marzipan to work with and roses to make for the cake. Forming each one by hand is time consuming and so I decided to give this mold a try. I was pleasantly surprised at just how easy it is to use! Yay! 

 

Next I headed into Old Riga- I love the old historic part of Riga that is over 800 years old and packed with history. It is fun to roam the cobblestone streets and watch the tourists and check out the cute shops. However, I had other things on my agenda and the first was to see if one souvenir shop -the biggest chain in Riga- would take my silk scarves on consignment. We had a very nice visit and they would have gladly taken them- but I didn't have the right documents along and I am not sure I am willing to sell them for so little. They would pay me $30-$40.00 and sell them for twice that much. I was much encouraged to know though that they liked them. They were especially charmed by the silk hat.

After this I went to the Decorative Art Museum where there was an exhibition of Victorian Dresses. I loved taking in the details, colors and patterns. It was inspiring. I was amazed at the beading on many of the dresses and imagined the many hours those young women put into one ball gown. Wow! I wish I had some gorgeous dresses like those. I was thinking if I did have such beautiful gowns my job would be to wear them and just look beautiful. I wouldn't be able to work in the garden or cook. (LOL). Then I was reminded of the verse in the Bible about beauty coming from the inside, not by adornments. 

After this I was famished and in a hurry to keep running my many errands on my list. I was trying to find a fast, cheap place to grab a bite. I happened upon a cute French cafe. I ordered a croissant with cheese and ham, a bottle of blueberry juice and a macaron. 

 

The croissant was warmed and was flaky, light and simply scrumptious. Every bite seemed to melt in my mouth- wow- I must have been hungry! 

The blueberry juice was simply refreshing!

But the macaron-my first ever macaron! Now, that was love at first bite! I had ordered a pistachio one and W-O-W! If you have never had a macaron I would say there is no possible way of adequately describing one. But I shall try: 

nuttiness,

almondy doughiness, 

creamy pistachio frosting, 

nestled between light, 

buttery, 

purely delightful,

melt in your mouth flavors

addictive, 

Need I say more? 

After my wonderful lunch I was ready to conquer the rest of my shopping. But it was during this leisurely day that I realized something. 

Every Mommy needs a day to have an adventure. This day was for me a time to do something different than my everyday life. I love my kids,  I love my life. But I need peace and quiet now and then. I need a time to do something that makes my heart pound- like pushing my business in a new direction. I need time to think and pray- like quiet time walking and driving. I need time to enjoy something new-like new cafes and new tastes. I feel totally refreshed after a day like yesterday. 

We Mamas are hard-worked and need to make time, once a week, once a month or at least sometimes to have an adventure, a retreat or a hair-cut! Whatever makes us feel refreshed! 

Today I was able to start my day with a renewed enthusiasm and joy.

Other Than an iPOD

I want an iPOD- the reasons are numerous. But my top reasons are: 

• to record my baby's monthly achievements and be able to show him later in life.
• use Skype to talk family an ocean away. 
• listen to music

However, my husband thinks I don't need one and that I should get something better IF I were to get one- because iPODs don't support flash, etc. Besides, can we really afford it?

Needless to say I have been brewing over this, as days and cute moments pass unrecorded for future enjoyment. Today I was suddenly reminded of the things I can do WITHOUT an iPOD. 

• I can write more in my baby's journal- recording his sounds, emotions, and attitudes. 
• I can become a better writer by learning to capture all of these special moments with words rather than with a video camera. 
• I can learn to observe more deeply and with my heart. Recording these precious moments where they will never dissapear- in my thoughts and mind. 
• I can write letters to my loved ones and use snail mail, who doesn't love a real letter? (Not much time for this hobby though). 
• I can write e-mails. It seems FB is replacing good old-fashioned e-mail.
• I can use the radio. 
• I can think and pray in silence or sing :) 
• I can learn to be content with what I have (even when wanting something new, modern and perhaps even necessary).

How about you? How do you to deal with all your wants and unmet desires? What is your key to contentment?

Things a Mother Should Know and Do

Being a mother is one of those things we all fantasize. We want to be the best one out there, kind, patient, always having the answer to every difficulty. But the fact is none of have it all together, we all mess up and we all could use some improvement. Right?!?

The past 4 years of motherhood have certainly had their ups and downs for me. And during these years I have learned a few things that I feel are essential for every Mom to keep in mind and have IF possible.

1. Granny/Nanny: Every mother needs a helper. Whether that be a grandparent or a now and then baby sitter, or a nanny. If you don't have a relative near by who can help you out for free than find a baby sitter or nanny-NOW!  At times we think we can make it on our own and try to cut corners (as in save money)- save your sanity and yourself by making this a priority! I have a girl who comes once or twice a week and then I can run errands on my own, with my infant and leave the toddlers at home (Even if it is only grocery shopping). I come home refreshed from having had a time of silence  and we are all better off this way. You know the old saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  
2. Don't Do It All:  For some reason we modern women often try to do things entirely on our own. We end up feel frustrated, frazzled and fed up! I don't know why it is so hard for us to accept help- whether paid or unpaid. But I advise you- put your pride aside and hire someone for that job that is never getting done at your house. For us this is someone to weed the garden- we love the idea of a garden and fresh produce. We can keep up with some of the yard work. BUT when it come to having a well weeded garden we just don't have the time. So, we have a girl who comes once or twice a week and weeds. She is happy to earn a little money and we are thrilled to have a perfectly weeded garden at least part of the time.
3. You're Not the Only One: When we live secluded in our home bubbles, caught up in the fusses and fueds of a house full of kids we start getting some negative thoughts. You are not the only one who calls your Mom on some days just to tell her how your kids are driving you crazy and you could use some help. You are not the only one who on occasion just wants to hide in the bathroom while the children scream and fight. You are not the only one frustrated to tears at times about the selfishness and stubborness of your little ones. Take a moment, pray, remember that you can do "Everything through him who gives  you strength, " and then re-enter this battle. Raising kids is tough- but you are not alone. 

That's all for today my lovely ladies.

What are some things you can't live without as a Mom? Any advice for the rest of us?