My Baby Boy

It is no secret that I had been anxious, very anxious to have this baby. I was uncomfortable and eager and ready.

Sunday was no different- I was waiting and expectant. I stayed home from church with Amelija- sitting was just too hard. I noticed my stomach was irritable- and wondered- since this is sometimes a sign of early labor. Later in the afternoon I noticed some other tell tale signs that could mean that labor will begin soon.

It was a beautiful day. We grilled shish kebabs and marshmallows and all just enjoyed sitting around and watching the meat cook. Funny, but rewarding when something smells and promises to taste so good. On occasion I had a contraction- but rarely.We had a lovely family evening- I wondered - if this was our last supper as 4.

About midnight when we were heading to bead I started having a few more contractions. When they started being about 10-15 minutes apart I knew I was not going to be able to sleep. So I let Janis sleep and went downstairs. I packed our bag of food to take along. I paced, I laid down, I got up, I was in constant motion it seemed. When I got too tired I would lay down, but I cannot endure contractions laying down and there seemed to only ever be enough time to just fall asleep and then I would be awakened by yet another contraction.

About 2:00 a.m I sent my midwife a sms. She called me and said if the contractions were so seldom to wait until morning- better to rest at home.

From 3:00-4:00 a.m I was baking cookies. I had read that was a good thing to do while in labor and that when you started burning them then you would know it was time to go to the hospital (because you couldn't focus on removing them from the oven in time). During this hour my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and I was doing squats and talking to myself and baby- reminding us to open together.

I had determined to awaken Janis at 4:00 a.m. because I wanted some encouragement and advice. But I was so tired I laid down. I fell asleep and had fewer contractions- but was up again by 4:30.

At about 5:00 I woke Janis up and told him I couldn't sleep and had been awake all night and I needed some encouragement- I needed to see the midwife and have her check my progress and I wanted to go before the kids woke up.

He got up and ready, phoned the baby sitter and arranged to get her at 6:00 a.m. He ate breakfast and I lived through contractions- wanting to vomit at the smells of his breakfast. We left our house about 6:30 a.m or a bit before. Janis got gas. I was sort of reclining in the car in the front seat.

We were thoroughly amused when the seemingly only in films scene happened to us. There was a police man who had stopped cars coming from both directions and wanted us to stop too. He probably just wanted to check our documents- but when he came to the window Janis said. "My wife is in labor, can't you let us pass?" He looked at me and was like, "Really, yeah!" We laughed so hard after that! 

In the one hour drive to the birthing house I had only about 5 contractions- of course in a bumpy  car they were not pleasant to endure. But I was a bit worried that maybe this was in vain and I wouldn't really have my baby that day at all.

We arrived at the birthing house "Harmony" about 7:30 a.m. I was happy we were the only couple there with our midwife. We chose our room (one of the two) and then my midwife checked me. I was already 7-8cm along! We were all pleased and I was surprised.

She started filling the tub and I walked up and down the steps, enduring the contractions in any pose that felt best- squatting, sitting on the ball, etc.

About 8:30 I got in the tub- even though it was only half full- it was filling so very slowly. I liked the feel of the water. I was in the tub for a while- but got out after a bit. The tub was so big it was hard to find a comfortable pose to endure the contractions. She told me the baby was already at the gate- ready to be born and to push him out. She said it could be done in 3, 13 or 33 contractions. In other words- it was up to me.

She kept trying to show me how to push and not to close to the pain. I wasn't ready. I was afraid of what was coming- knowing the end would be even more painful when I had to push him out. I was afraid to listen to her and push him out. I was resisting.

Finally when my throat hurt from screaming or groaning (though Janis said I didn't scream as much this time) And I was in the water again- with a full tub- I concluded I had to do something different. Janis had run out to the car to get me some water to refill my water bottle and I started pushing as I was supposed to do. Everything happened so fast and Janis almost missed the baby being born.

Just born

In 3-5 minutes of pushing our baby was out. The cord was very tight around his neck. But he soon was looking  pink and normal. I was even able to smile for a picture- surprised that he was already out. Surprised that the part I had been dreading for so long ended up being so easy. That wasn't so bad after all! Wow!

So April 16, 2012, at 11:32 a.m Kārlis Benjamins was born. He weighed 4120 grams and was 56 cm. long.

The midwife with our baby boy

I was so very surprised that the expected ring of fire and the pressure never came. I never had the part I was so dreading. Could it have been that if I had listened to the midwife he would have been born 3 hours sooner?

But all in all my jingle worked and came to pass, which was this.

I will only be in labor as long as it takes to pack, drive, fill and get in the tub.

Once the tub was finally full he was born shortly thereafter!

Yay God, this was by far the easiest delivery we have had. And even though it was painful I am so amazed. What was different? Was it the preparation? The birth art? My attitude of believing more? I don't know. . . I only know I am so very happy!

The Second Birth

As my third labor approaches I am trying to prepare myself in any and every way possible. I have done a variety of pregnancy art. And been rethinking my former two experiences.

2 years ago-

Friday- D and I went with your Daddy to work. While he worked, we walked around a park, by the river. Friday evening I received word from my friend Gunta that her baby was the way. Early Saturday morning their son Reinis was born and the midwife (our midwife) came to stay at our house for a few hours of sleep.

Saturday we went to a garden show/sale. On the way there while listening to the radio a song came on that I really like, "My Idea of Heaven". I just started crying when I heard it, it is so sweet and romantic. Could this have been a sign you were to be a girl? I very rarely cry when listening to music and this day I was a basket case. . . Perhaps a sign of your soon to be birth :) In the middle of the night I started having a few contractions.


Sunday- Your Daddy thought we should send D to his godparents since it appeared you were on your way. But I wasn't having regular contractions and didn't want D to be gone the whole day. Since after a while it appeared nothing much was happening we let him stay home for the day. I went on a walk by the river, hoping to get things moving along again. Towards evening my contractions started to be a bit more frequent and it was agreed that D would spend the night at his godparent's and that our midwife would come later.

When D was picked up and your Daddy and I were left alone, he decided to help me try and relax. He game me a back massage and turned on some relaxing music. He had chosen music ahead of time to help me relax. Rudite, our midwife arrived about 23:00. We had tea and chatted, she observed my response to the three contractions I had during our tea and informed me they were good contractions :) I was glad to know things were going somewhere, as I had doubted whether things were really happening for real.  You would have thought I would have known since you are the second baby :) Rudite went to bed and I decided to try to get some rest as well.

I was able to sleep for about an hour when I was awakened by a very strong contraction which brought me quickly out of bed. I find contractions unbearable when lying down. From this time on I was on the move.I sat on the birth ball. Daddy supported me and we swayed together for some contractions. Other times I just leaned against the wall, and so forth. Throughout the night things continued to progress. When I got hungry you Daddy made me my requested food, which was toast with butter :)

Towards morning I decided to try a bath for relaxing. But I had such a strong contraction in the bath that I became very discouraged and started crying. I asked Daddy to wake up the midwife and have her come give me some encouragement.

She came, and informed me that I was 7 cm dilated. Almost all the way open, but that you still needed to come down. She estimated you would be born by noon, in just a few hours. I continued my pacing. In between contractions I even played a song on the piano and sang. It seems I had more breaks when nothing was happening during this labor. I don't remember that happening with D.

The midwife suggested I lay down and rest. I didn't like lying down. But I gave in, and when I laid down and she had gone downstairs my water broke. It wasn't just a nice little break, but it seemed like an explosion and I screamed in shock and pain from the contraction. From this moment on things really started happening and within an hour of pushing you were out!

I ended up having you laying down on my left side. This wasn't how I had imagined things would be, I didn't like lying down. But this ended up being the pose that made things happen. I was just glad when everything was over and you were out.

There you were, my blueish little lady. Your Daddy quickly said, "It is Amelija. Your dream come true." How precious! You were laid on my tummy, crying in protest. Being born is hard work I know. I couldn't believe how big and chubby you were. You weighed over 9 pounds, 4350 grams!! Wow!! You seemed to me like a little cherub, so cute and chubby.

Birth Music/Sounds

 In my preparation for birth I beginning to gather music and sounds to relax me.

Any suggestions?

Rain

Birth Jingle

In the book I am reading, "Birthing From Within," (Sorry if you are getting sick of hearing about it) she shared how her first labor was 2 days long and she was terrified of another long labor. She wanted a shorter labor and made up a jingle expressing her wish:

I will only be in labor as long as it takes
To Make, Bake, Cool and Frost a Chocolate Cake. 

She asked a friend to bake a cake (from scratch) during her labor. When her friend finished it and came in and showed it to her she was shocked it was already finished. BUT within 20 minutes her son was born.

She encourages mothers to come up with their own positive thinking rhythmic jingle and repeat it over and over so that it activates  ones right brain.


I am curious if this could really work. Why not try it, hmm?


I have a jingle and perhaps will better it to make it more rhythmic- but for now here is how it goes.


I will only be in labor as long as I need
To Pack, Drive, Fill and Get in the Tub.

(Sorry if you don't understand it- I have my own planning and reasoning behind it). 



Have you ever used something like this? What do you think?

Harmony

In my search of a perfect place to have my baby I have considered three options seriously. (These are in no particular order).  

A home birth: Like the first two times. In truth I cannot imagine any other way because this is the only way I have experienced birth. It is so soothing to be in the comfort of ones own home.

• BUT I don't want my children at home while I have my baby- because I scream during the pushing stage and  don't want to scare them. And I don't want them to have to spend the night elsewhere because that is hard on them and me since I worry about them. I found this true the first time around when I had to send D away for the first time in his life. 
• Price 500 lats or  $936.00 /This includes 1 home visit before birth and 3 home visits after birth.

Birthing Clinic: This is like a private, very small hospital. Where you are allowed to birth as you choose (not on the table).

• BUT the rooms seemed small to me and even though it was quiet since they only have like 4 rooms for women and it isn't too far away 30 minutes- it still feels like a a hospital. 
• Price: 450 lats for midwife, plus paying for each night in a room and food. In all it would cost more than a home birth.

Birthing House- "Harmony": I had heard this place was like a guest house and really wanted to see it- especially since my midwife recommended it over the Birthing Clinic. Over the weekend we went to see this house and I really, really liked it. The house was airy, bright and homey. They have two bedrooms for women and a very nice, big corner bath. I would like to try birthing in water this time. I like the idea of my husband and I getting away for 3 days with our new baby and having a mini-vacation. They also have "cocoons" knitted for each baby and they are so sweet. I loved that idea as well.

• BUT it is a 1 hour drive from our home- so a bit far. However, the situation is truly love.
• NO food provided because each person is so different in their desires. However, they have a furnished kitchen and you can get something at a local store or order at a cafe. 
• Price 500 lats or  $936.00 including the 3 nights. 

These are the options I am considering at present. I would love to go with the third option. But I wonder if I would make it in time and would know when to leave home. I am always so unsure if my labor has truly begun.

What would you do? 

Clay Pregnancy Art

In the book I am reading, "Birthing from Within" there are a lot of assignments on birth art and preparing for birth by exploring ones hidden feelings through art.
I have really enjoyed the assignments in both drawing and creating with clay.

The drawing ideas were those such as:
1. How I see myself as a pregnant woman.
2. How do I envison birth.
3. My fantasy for this birth.

When I got to the clay assignment I was a bit more skeptical because I had never worked with clay. I chose white clay and followed the directions of trying to see what my hands would create and not forcing something.

I like what I came up with and hope that these will remind me to be open during birth.

This woman is big- just like I feel and she is shaped like a bell. The bottom is empty and I would like very much if I could turn this into a bell. But am not experienced enough to know how. I like the idea of being open like a bell and giving off a beautiful sound to the world through my birth. A bell is something that is loud, strong and open. I need to be open and strong during birth so I can let this 3rd baby out without the pain I experience during my first two labors. 

Many women talking of opening like a flower to let their baby out. I like that analogy and wish I could see birth so peacefully and beautifully. I wanted something visual to help me with this and so created this baby being born of a flower.

Have you ever done any pregnancy art? What helped you during birth?