Letting Go

Lately I feel this pressures or tension envelopes mes. As if stress grips my heart with worry.

My devotional reminds me to stop and rest in HIM.

Stop trying to work things out before their times have come. Accept the limitations of living one day at a time. When something comes to your attention, ask ME whether or not it is part of today's agenda. If it isn't, release it into My care and go on about today's duties. When you follow this practice, there will be a beautiful simplicity about your life: a time for everything, and everything in its its time. 

From the devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. March 29

When I let HIM control my days and life then I can fall into His arms of love that will work out all things for HIS glory.

When God answers our prayers

I believe in God, and He answers prayers. Amazing, that One so great in splendor chooses to hear and answer my prayers.

I sometimes pray selfishly, "Lord, please do this for me or us. . ."

I sometimes pray for others, "Lord, be with my friend. . . and . . . "

I sometimes pray just to talk to our Big God, " Father, thank you for who YOU are. . . "

I sometimes ask for things, "Lord, if it's your will please provide and give us a dog . . . "

And the most amazing thing is that God always hears and HE always answers! He may not answer the way I want, just like a loving parent. Or sometimes He may answer the way I ask, in time. . . And sometimes when we get what we prayed for we realize we really didn't want that thing. . . But we (I) were not content with praying for God's will to be done.

I was pondering again on the fact that God is His kindness has recently answered some prayers of mine, which when I got them realized I should have left that decision more in God's hands and not have prayed so hard for it to come to be. Yet God, the Loving Father He is chose to let me learn by experience to trust Him more in the future for decisions.

You may wonder what this is that I prayed for, waited for, got and then regret getting.  . . Well it is our puppy.

For a whole year I looked for a puppy of this certain breed. I prayed of course. I trusted and I still looked and wanted and fretted. In the end God did give us just the kind of puppy I had wanted. But then BANG I realized having a puppy is by no means a story book. Having a puppy in my opinion is far more difficult then having a baby or 3 kids. And now as I look back over the last 4 month I realize that probably God had a reason for not giving me that puppy a whole year. But I wasn't content to leave it at that. Like a stubborn child I kept asking and HE is HIS kindness seemed to say, "Ok. Have your puppy. And learn from it, it won't be easy. . . and you will regret it. But I love you, so I will give it to you."

And so here we learn on and as much as we do enjoy our puppy , she is ALOT of work!

I thank God for answering my prayers and thank HIM that through this I can learn to trust HIM more.

How about you, did you ever pray for something and after God answered you wished He hadn't?

When a loved one hurts

My heart hurts for someone so dear to me.

I had no idea of the pain she was going through. No idea of the difficulties.

I feel stunned.

I feel confused.

I feel disappointed.

I don't understand why evil corrupts so. I like to believe in a better world. Yet the darkness seems so strong at times.

In all of this I know that God is victor. I know that HE is in charge. I know that HE will overcome.

These past days have been strange times.

Full of shocking stories and strange happenings.

I find my rest in Him!

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Faith

Every day we hear of terrible things going on, some of them close at hand, others far off. Every day we are confronted with evil and the fight of a world over what is right and what is wrong.

I admit that I often feel like crawling in a hole and hiding me and my loved ones from this big, scary world.

There have been a lot of days lately where my thoughts and fears of the happenings that are occurring in our world leave me paralyzed in fear and trepidation for the kids I am raising is such an evil world.

It seems that at every corner we are faced with and reminded that this world is crumbling apart.

In this dark days I have a choice to live in fear, or to live in faith.

I don't know what faith means to you. But to me it is something like this. . .

Faith is in One bigger than me, my fears, and everything that is going on.

Faith is knowing that there is One who made this world and that HE has never left and never will abandon his children.

As I sat quaking in my boots this morning I ran to the Psalms and was reminded that God is with those who love him.

I was reminded of the Bible verse we have been learning all week with my kids, "My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth" Psalm 121: 2

And as I washed the window and talked to my God about rumors of wars he reminded me of the scripture, "When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come." Matthew 24:6

Yes, things are bad in our world. Yes, things are getting worse. BUT there is also good in the world, and the source of all good is the ONE who made this world.

I was comforted today and held close in the "arms" of God as His word spoke to me. He reminded me that what is happening now He knew long before., and that He will never abandon me or mine.

If I didn't know God now, and have this faith in Him I would be completely lost.

God, may seem far off to you. Or perhaps you don't even believe there is God. But even faith is worth a chance, how can you ever know a person or being or God, unless you give them/Him a fair chance?

Try reading the Bible, and saying: "God, I'd like to meet you. Come and introduce yourself to  me as I read this letter that you have given or supposedly (if you don't believe it) given to men long ago. I want to give you a chance. "

Faith and Fear

Lately I  have found myself confronted with more fears than I normally face. Fears of the end of the world as I know it. Fears of microchips and end times and pain and suffering.

Then there was a terrible accident at an intersection not far from our home.. The police and ambulance had the scene blocked off for at least 4 hours, an ambulance blocked the road where we normally drive out to get on the highway.

I found myself gripped with fear as I rose to a new day, I was supposed to go on a day long date with my husband. We had fun plans in mind, it should have been something to look forward. But it was snowing and I feared leaving my house and our babysitter and our three munchkins. I feared something would happen on the road. I was very tempted to stay home and not step foot out of my home. Fear has a paralyzing effect.

But I prayed, I believed, I went.

Of course we had a special day together running errands, eating  lunch out and going to a museum.

In the evening we had our girl's Bible study at our home. We had our first guest, a lady of faith from our church who does lots of ministry with the poor.  She had felt God's leading to talk about faith. As she shared how faith looks in her life and the stories of God's faithfulness and provision, I was touched.

Here is a woman facing real life problems daily. She helps the poor, the fatherless, the widows, the alcoholics, and people in all kinds of situations. She has no fear, and walks by faith. She clearly reminded us fear is not of God!

I was moved when she talked about the position we are to have as obedient and submissive wives. I was challenged by the thoughts on our not being able to change our situations anyhow- so why do we worry and fret. We need only trust God and walk by faith. He is in charge and fully capable of caring for us in EVERY way.

And as I laid down to go to bed, I again laid down my worries at the feet of my Father in  Heaven- knowing that He will care for me, my children and my family and loved ones in every single circumstance. He is worthy. He is faithful and all I need to do is trust  Him!

My Best Friend

More than 10 years ago one timid girl was to start attending college. She was afraid, she was shy, she was full of doubt. Not once had she stepped foot in a "regular" classroom. She has spent all of her school days taught at home. She was different, but bright. She was conservative, but fun in her quiet way. She had a higher calling now and was convinced that to reach her dreams she needed a college education and so she believed, and stepped out in faith.

Some weeks before the semester was to begin she got a call from  her soon to be roommate- introducing herself and wishing her the best until they should soon meet.

The first day of orientation is overwhelming to a freshman and this shy girl was delighted when her new roommate turned out to be studying the exact same thing as herself! They were kindred spirits from the start- bosom friends from day one.

Four year of rooming together and lots of shared memories left these two even better friends. They had both studied to be missionaries and both were sure of their callings. They left college with good grades, big dreams and health and youth on their sides.

Some years passed and one of them ended up returning to the land of her forefathers to teach English and minister there. The other went to get her MA and to go through the strenuous preparation of being a full time missionary.

The one married a man of the people of her fathers.

The other was on the brink of beginning her first term as a missionary in East.

Then the unthinkable darkness, a nightmare of despair came and struck this young single woman. She was taken down with disease. She was removed from her dream. She was taken to home and long hours waiting on doctors. She was bitten by pain.

What will be? What can become when we are so faced with a crumbling of our dreams? Do we whither up in bitterness? Becoming dry shells of broken dreams?

Not so with my friend! She lived on. She lived in hope. She lived in joy! She lived in Jesus!

Her life is not the life she would have chosen. Her life is not the life she dreamed. Her life is not the life she had planned on. But her life is hers, a precious gift from the Giver of all good gifts!

This young women struck with illness and chronic disease in her youth is my dearest friend. My heart aches with her at every tear of pain she cries. My heart prays for her, with prayers that I cannot put into words. I know not how best to pray for her. I know not what to do to ease her pain. But yet I see her and admire her for who she is and has become.

Sometimes I ask myself, would I take her place? When I cry out to God and ask him, "Why, why would you do this to her? Why don't you heal her?! Why don't you do something?!I know you can! " I feel as if a question is asked of me, "Would you take her place?" And in the shame and selfishness of my heart I know I cannot answer, Yes". I who fear pain- who screamed as my babies came into this world. I tremble at the idea of facing every day with pain.

I stop. I stand in humble awe. For I know that God who saw fit to give my friend her talents, and dreams, also has a reason for letting her go through this fiery hell of pain. She is being refined-like pure spotless gold. She is being made purer, richer, more beautiful in the eyes of He who made her. She is His daughter, His love and her All!

Be encouraged dear friend! I cannot take your pain, or your place. But know that you are not alone and my prayers spill like tears raining from my eyes on your behalf.

Be a friend to the chronically ill. Be real! Be there!

My Fluttering Heart

Yesterday my husband came home sick, he went to bed and several hours later fainted in the bathroom. I called the equivalent of 911, and he was taken to the hospital. He is still there today, having tests done and getting fluids by IV.

I realized some things as I was handed responsibility for a night, not knowing what was the matter or what to expect. My 3 small kids tucked into their beds clueless that their daddy had been whisked away. I realized how much I lean on my husband for stability.

He is so patient, strong, gentle and calm. He is like the pillars in our home, standing firm and strong. I am like a tile roof and as the our family's pillars were shaken I felt my tiles beginning to quiver and slide.

I thank God that He understands and that He is my strong foundation.

As I try to read God's word I cannot concentrate for more than a few minutes. My heart, mind and thoughts are continually flying off to be with my love.

I thank God that He understands and doesn't condemn me for my weaknesses.

I am like a butterfly swooping into to settle on the flower of truth God is extending me. And as I read in Philippians 4 to rejoice, and not be anxious my heart is calmed and I flutter on. I know that soon again I will need the nectar of truth that only He can give and will go back to His Word and He will never cease to feed my thirst after Him and His truth.

How God Speaks

Recently my brother posed the question, "Does God speak?"

Since I know that God does speak I guess to me the question is, "How does God speak?"

As I thought more about this and the various ways we each let God lead in our lives I came to this idea of conclusion.

Could it be that God is as active in guiding our choices as we let Him be?

One person believes God has given him the wisdom to make wise choices and as he seeks to please God he believes that God has so guided his choices.

Another person is continually going to God in prayer throughout their day- trusting every little worry and concern to Him.

God leads both persons, but in different ways. In the ways that person has let Him do so- in the way that person needs.

What do you say, how does God lead you?