Three Weeks-Something Different

This was a pregnancy I wanted to be different.
I prepared more emotionally than with any other pregnancy.
I did pregnancy art in a variety of ways.
I explored my past stories and envisioned something different this time- something easier, something less painful.

Looking back to our birth 3 weeks ago my emotions are positive, my recollections pleasant. No, it was not easy. BUT it was easier than any other birth I have had so far. No, it was not painless. BUT the most painful part of pushing which with my first two kids was 1 1/2 hours was only 3-5 minutes this time. So I am grateful, happy, pleased and no longer so afraid of birth.

I went away from my second birth thinking c-sections were far more understandable to me and maybe I would want one too.Why suffer? Why go through such incredible pain? Why, why, why?!

So if God sees fit to bless us with another child somewhere done the road in life- I no longer will live in fear of birth. I know things can be different, because they have been so for me.

Biggest Differences this birth:

• Was not at home this time. 
• I labored alone until I was 7-8 cm. dilated (when we arrived at the birthing center)
• Gave birth in water. 
• Pushing was 3-5 minutes, rather than an hour or more. 
• Never experienced the "urge" to push or the bearing down that comes when the baby is ready to be pushed out. Perhaps this was eased by being in the water. 
  

Our little man is an excellent eater and takes  nice long naps several times a day. He eats 2-3 times a night. Wakes up early with the hiccups and other gruntings. He is starting to have his eyes open more.

There is nothing quite so precious and dear as the feel of a baby's downy head. 

Nothing like the feeling of holding a tiny person in your arms and having him cling to your finger. Nothing so special as gazing in awe at the perfection of a tiny human created within ones being. Nothing so dear as the comfort a child finds with its mother.

In his cocoon with his "umbilical cord" hat

My Baby Boy

It is no secret that I had been anxious, very anxious to have this baby. I was uncomfortable and eager and ready.

Sunday was no different- I was waiting and expectant. I stayed home from church with Amelija- sitting was just too hard. I noticed my stomach was irritable- and wondered- since this is sometimes a sign of early labor. Later in the afternoon I noticed some other tell tale signs that could mean that labor will begin soon.

It was a beautiful day. We grilled shish kebabs and marshmallows and all just enjoyed sitting around and watching the meat cook. Funny, but rewarding when something smells and promises to taste so good. On occasion I had a contraction- but rarely.We had a lovely family evening- I wondered - if this was our last supper as 4.

About midnight when we were heading to bead I started having a few more contractions. When they started being about 10-15 minutes apart I knew I was not going to be able to sleep. So I let Janis sleep and went downstairs. I packed our bag of food to take along. I paced, I laid down, I got up, I was in constant motion it seemed. When I got too tired I would lay down, but I cannot endure contractions laying down and there seemed to only ever be enough time to just fall asleep and then I would be awakened by yet another contraction.

About 2:00 a.m I sent my midwife a sms. She called me and said if the contractions were so seldom to wait until morning- better to rest at home.

From 3:00-4:00 a.m I was baking cookies. I had read that was a good thing to do while in labor and that when you started burning them then you would know it was time to go to the hospital (because you couldn't focus on removing them from the oven in time). During this hour my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and I was doing squats and talking to myself and baby- reminding us to open together.

I had determined to awaken Janis at 4:00 a.m. because I wanted some encouragement and advice. But I was so tired I laid down. I fell asleep and had fewer contractions- but was up again by 4:30.

At about 5:00 I woke Janis up and told him I couldn't sleep and had been awake all night and I needed some encouragement- I needed to see the midwife and have her check my progress and I wanted to go before the kids woke up.

He got up and ready, phoned the baby sitter and arranged to get her at 6:00 a.m. He ate breakfast and I lived through contractions- wanting to vomit at the smells of his breakfast. We left our house about 6:30 a.m or a bit before. Janis got gas. I was sort of reclining in the car in the front seat.

We were thoroughly amused when the seemingly only in films scene happened to us. There was a police man who had stopped cars coming from both directions and wanted us to stop too. He probably just wanted to check our documents- but when he came to the window Janis said. "My wife is in labor, can't you let us pass?" He looked at me and was like, "Really, yeah!" We laughed so hard after that! 

In the one hour drive to the birthing house I had only about 5 contractions- of course in a bumpy  car they were not pleasant to endure. But I was a bit worried that maybe this was in vain and I wouldn't really have my baby that day at all.

We arrived at the birthing house "Harmony" about 7:30 a.m. I was happy we were the only couple there with our midwife. We chose our room (one of the two) and then my midwife checked me. I was already 7-8cm along! We were all pleased and I was surprised.

She started filling the tub and I walked up and down the steps, enduring the contractions in any pose that felt best- squatting, sitting on the ball, etc.

About 8:30 I got in the tub- even though it was only half full- it was filling so very slowly. I liked the feel of the water. I was in the tub for a while- but got out after a bit. The tub was so big it was hard to find a comfortable pose to endure the contractions. She told me the baby was already at the gate- ready to be born and to push him out. She said it could be done in 3, 13 or 33 contractions. In other words- it was up to me.

She kept trying to show me how to push and not to close to the pain. I wasn't ready. I was afraid of what was coming- knowing the end would be even more painful when I had to push him out. I was afraid to listen to her and push him out. I was resisting.

Finally when my throat hurt from screaming or groaning (though Janis said I didn't scream as much this time) And I was in the water again- with a full tub- I concluded I had to do something different. Janis had run out to the car to get me some water to refill my water bottle and I started pushing as I was supposed to do. Everything happened so fast and Janis almost missed the baby being born.

Just born

In 3-5 minutes of pushing our baby was out. The cord was very tight around his neck. But he soon was looking  pink and normal. I was even able to smile for a picture- surprised that he was already out. Surprised that the part I had been dreading for so long ended up being so easy. That wasn't so bad after all! Wow!

So April 16, 2012, at 11:32 a.m Kārlis Benjamins was born. He weighed 4120 grams and was 56 cm. long.

The midwife with our baby boy

I was so very surprised that the expected ring of fire and the pressure never came. I never had the part I was so dreading. Could it have been that if I had listened to the midwife he would have been born 3 hours sooner?

But all in all my jingle worked and came to pass, which was this.

I will only be in labor as long as it takes to pack, drive, fill and get in the tub.

Once the tub was finally full he was born shortly thereafter!

Yay God, this was by far the easiest delivery we have had. And even though it was painful I am so amazed. What was different? Was it the preparation? The birth art? My attitude of believing more? I don't know. . . I only know I am so very happy!

Have Patience-Music Machine

Growing up in the 80s we listened to The Music Machine- a childhood favorite I must say.

Lately the lyrics to one of those songs has been stuck in my head- the chorus especially.

Have patience, have patience.
Don't be in such a hurry.
When you get impatient you only start to worry.
Remember, remember that God is patient too.
And think of all the times when others have to wait for you.


Have Patience

I so need patience right now- I can't wait to get this baby out and hold him. My back is hurting more and life is just harder when you are so BIG.

One More thing Done

A while back I had made a list of things I wanted to do before this baby came. I am pleased to say most of them have now been accomplished. The only one still remaining is to finish A's quilt. Tonight I finished this little baby's. Sorry these are not very good pictures- but I hope you get the idea.

Perhaps that is what he was waiting for- now his quilt is done so he can make his grand appearance. Right?  This quilt is extra special because it had several contributors- I love all the kind wishes and creativity everyone put into this at the baby shower. Thanks! 

Waiting

37 weeks and WAITING. 

I don't like waiting and at this point am so ready to be done being pregnant. 

I am TRYING to enjoy these last days with baby inside. 

Thursday was our baby shower- held by friends. It was lovely. Thank you dear ladies!

Elina had planned some nice activities. Then each lady decorated a block for the quilt I am making for our baby. I am pleased. It will be special to have a friendship quilt for out little one. 

Besides that I made an outfit for a friend's new baby. I whipped this up one day. I hadn't done that much sewing in a while. I am also slowly working on two quilts.

Yesterday we visited some relatives for the day. Fun. I enjoy anything to help pass the time- waiting.

The Second Birth

As my third labor approaches I am trying to prepare myself in any and every way possible. I have done a variety of pregnancy art. And been rethinking my former two experiences.

2 years ago-

Friday- D and I went with your Daddy to work. While he worked, we walked around a park, by the river. Friday evening I received word from my friend Gunta that her baby was the way. Early Saturday morning their son Reinis was born and the midwife (our midwife) came to stay at our house for a few hours of sleep.

Saturday we went to a garden show/sale. On the way there while listening to the radio a song came on that I really like, "My Idea of Heaven". I just started crying when I heard it, it is so sweet and romantic. Could this have been a sign you were to be a girl? I very rarely cry when listening to music and this day I was a basket case. . . Perhaps a sign of your soon to be birth :) In the middle of the night I started having a few contractions.


Sunday- Your Daddy thought we should send D to his godparents since it appeared you were on your way. But I wasn't having regular contractions and didn't want D to be gone the whole day. Since after a while it appeared nothing much was happening we let him stay home for the day. I went on a walk by the river, hoping to get things moving along again. Towards evening my contractions started to be a bit more frequent and it was agreed that D would spend the night at his godparent's and that our midwife would come later.

When D was picked up and your Daddy and I were left alone, he decided to help me try and relax. He game me a back massage and turned on some relaxing music. He had chosen music ahead of time to help me relax. Rudite, our midwife arrived about 23:00. We had tea and chatted, she observed my response to the three contractions I had during our tea and informed me they were good contractions :) I was glad to know things were going somewhere, as I had doubted whether things were really happening for real.  You would have thought I would have known since you are the second baby :) Rudite went to bed and I decided to try to get some rest as well.

I was able to sleep for about an hour when I was awakened by a very strong contraction which brought me quickly out of bed. I find contractions unbearable when lying down. From this time on I was on the move.I sat on the birth ball. Daddy supported me and we swayed together for some contractions. Other times I just leaned against the wall, and so forth. Throughout the night things continued to progress. When I got hungry you Daddy made me my requested food, which was toast with butter :)

Towards morning I decided to try a bath for relaxing. But I had such a strong contraction in the bath that I became very discouraged and started crying. I asked Daddy to wake up the midwife and have her come give me some encouragement.

She came, and informed me that I was 7 cm dilated. Almost all the way open, but that you still needed to come down. She estimated you would be born by noon, in just a few hours. I continued my pacing. In between contractions I even played a song on the piano and sang. It seems I had more breaks when nothing was happening during this labor. I don't remember that happening with D.

The midwife suggested I lay down and rest. I didn't like lying down. But I gave in, and when I laid down and she had gone downstairs my water broke. It wasn't just a nice little break, but it seemed like an explosion and I screamed in shock and pain from the contraction. From this moment on things really started happening and within an hour of pushing you were out!

I ended up having you laying down on my left side. This wasn't how I had imagined things would be, I didn't like lying down. But this ended up being the pose that made things happen. I was just glad when everything was over and you were out.

There you were, my blueish little lady. Your Daddy quickly said, "It is Amelija. Your dream come true." How precious! You were laid on my tummy, crying in protest. Being born is hard work I know. I couldn't believe how big and chubby you were. You weighed over 9 pounds, 4350 grams!! Wow!! You seemed to me like a little cherub, so cute and chubby.

Birth Jingle

In the book I am reading, "Birthing From Within," (Sorry if you are getting sick of hearing about it) she shared how her first labor was 2 days long and she was terrified of another long labor. She wanted a shorter labor and made up a jingle expressing her wish:

I will only be in labor as long as it takes
To Make, Bake, Cool and Frost a Chocolate Cake. 

She asked a friend to bake a cake (from scratch) during her labor. When her friend finished it and came in and showed it to her she was shocked it was already finished. BUT within 20 minutes her son was born.

She encourages mothers to come up with their own positive thinking rhythmic jingle and repeat it over and over so that it activates  ones right brain.


I am curious if this could really work. Why not try it, hmm?


I have a jingle and perhaps will better it to make it more rhythmic- but for now here is how it goes.


I will only be in labor as long as I need
To Pack, Drive, Fill and Get in the Tub.

(Sorry if you don't understand it- I have my own planning and reasoning behind it). 



Have you ever used something like this? What do you think?

Just Sleep

It seems the nearer I come to the end of this pregnancy the more tired I become. I know this is normal, but still it is so burdensome.
There are still so many things I hope to get done:

• scrapbooking

• quilting

• painting

But sometimes the urge to sleep is so overwhelming that I simply cannot resist. I guess I need it.

I am rather discouraged too of late at the lack of sales in my etsy shop. It makes me not feel like painting so ardently as before. Besides my silk supply is running low and until I get some sales I cannot buy any more.

So if you see less of me around here, I may be sleeping or resting.

33.5 weeks pregnant.

Harmony

In my search of a perfect place to have my baby I have considered three options seriously. (These are in no particular order).  

A home birth: Like the first two times. In truth I cannot imagine any other way because this is the only way I have experienced birth. It is so soothing to be in the comfort of ones own home.

• BUT I don't want my children at home while I have my baby- because I scream during the pushing stage and  don't want to scare them. And I don't want them to have to spend the night elsewhere because that is hard on them and me since I worry about them. I found this true the first time around when I had to send D away for the first time in his life. 
• Price 500 lats or  $936.00 /This includes 1 home visit before birth and 3 home visits after birth.

Birthing Clinic: This is like a private, very small hospital. Where you are allowed to birth as you choose (not on the table).

• BUT the rooms seemed small to me and even though it was quiet since they only have like 4 rooms for women and it isn't too far away 30 minutes- it still feels like a a hospital. 
• Price: 450 lats for midwife, plus paying for each night in a room and food. In all it would cost more than a home birth.

Birthing House- "Harmony": I had heard this place was like a guest house and really wanted to see it- especially since my midwife recommended it over the Birthing Clinic. Over the weekend we went to see this house and I really, really liked it. The house was airy, bright and homey. They have two bedrooms for women and a very nice, big corner bath. I would like to try birthing in water this time. I like the idea of my husband and I getting away for 3 days with our new baby and having a mini-vacation. They also have "cocoons" knitted for each baby and they are so sweet. I loved that idea as well.

• BUT it is a 1 hour drive from our home- so a bit far. However, the situation is truly love.
• NO food provided because each person is so different in their desires. However, they have a furnished kitchen and you can get something at a local store or order at a cafe. 
• Price 500 lats or  $936.00 including the 3 nights. 

These are the options I am considering at present. I would love to go with the third option. But I wonder if I would make it in time and would know when to leave home. I am always so unsure if my labor has truly begun.

What would you do? 

Clay Pregnancy Art

In the book I am reading, "Birthing from Within" there are a lot of assignments on birth art and preparing for birth by exploring ones hidden feelings through art.
I have really enjoyed the assignments in both drawing and creating with clay.

The drawing ideas were those such as:
1. How I see myself as a pregnant woman.
2. How do I envison birth.
3. My fantasy for this birth.

When I got to the clay assignment I was a bit more skeptical because I had never worked with clay. I chose white clay and followed the directions of trying to see what my hands would create and not forcing something.

I like what I came up with and hope that these will remind me to be open during birth.

This woman is big- just like I feel and she is shaped like a bell. The bottom is empty and I would like very much if I could turn this into a bell. But am not experienced enough to know how. I like the idea of being open like a bell and giving off a beautiful sound to the world through my birth. A bell is something that is loud, strong and open. I need to be open and strong during birth so I can let this 3rd baby out without the pain I experience during my first two labors. 

Many women talking of opening like a flower to let their baby out. I like that analogy and wish I could see birth so peacefully and beautifully. I wanted something visual to help me with this and so created this baby being born of a flower.

Have you ever done any pregnancy art? What helped you during birth?

Quotes on Pregnancy

Altogether pregnancy and birth is a richly intuitive and instinctive process, a woman will prepare her "nest" and birth according to the style of her culture, in the same way that a particular species of bird will build its nest with whatever is available.

As I continue to read through "Birthing From Within" by Pam England many things jump out at me. I wanted to include some of my favorite quotes.

If you envision giving birth in only one way and one place, your chance of being thrown off balance by the unexpected increases dramatically. The more ways you envision yourself giving birth, the more power you bring to your own birth. 

When you think about it women give birth every day in unbelievable places and circumstances. Even as you read this, babies are being born . . . 

in hot tubs, and warm ocean pools. . . 

in rice paddies, mountain villages, and igloos. . . 

in beds, birth huts, and birthing chairs. 

Mothers the world over give birth 

counting stars and under bright lights. . . 

in fields, dugouts, and by fireplaces. . . 

in planes and trains. . . 

in one room shacks and operating rooms. 

Mothers and nature always find a way. 

Pg. 82 (Birthing From Within)

On Natural vs. C-Section Births

I am a woman with an opinion. I am influenced a lot of course by personal experience, by the advise of my midwives and by stories heard and books read.

I am always very saddened and heartbroken when I hear of yet another woman who has been made to have a c-section. I know there are times when a c-section IS necessary- when the life of the mother or child is at risk. But most of the time I would say that c-sections are made for the convenience of the doctor and to avoid any risk due to their incompetence. What doctor wants to risk trying something new or long when they can do it the easy way out? C-sections are also chosen by women as the easy way out or are necessary due to the interference of a doctors who having induced labor have to do deal with the stress of a rushed labor- which is not natural and therefore leads to problems and more intervention.

I read today of another woman desirous of a natural birth- but because her baby was in breech the doctors chose for her to have an emergency c-section. She was sad. I was sad for her. My heart screamed out wanting to help these sort of women.

I think I ought to go and study and start my path toward becoming a doctor who will correctly inform women of the risks, the possibilities and the options.

The stories I hear from midwives and even doctors and mothers in Latvia where I now reside convinces me that many doctors in the USA are far behind the times if they think that a woman who has had a c-section must have another. We are not cookie cutter people who must all be cut the same way. Each of us has a choice and if our doctor will not allow us to choose we ought to seek another.

A friend of mine here had her first two babies naturally, the third was an true emergency c-section and then when pregnant with the fourth she wanted a c-section. She was afraid. But her doctor told her, "No, you do not need a c-section.  You can do this." She went on to have an ideal natural birth.

Why don't doctors in other countries, states and facilities allow a mother to choose? Are mothers misinformed? Do they trust their doctors too much? Are mothers to fearful or doctors?

What are your experiences and opinions?

Birth is a process that is between mother and child. A woman knows how to have a baby. A healthy woman will give birth to a baby with no problems and in her way with the assistance of a good doctor or midwife. We do not need intervention when we are healthy and our baby is healthy and when nature is left to have her course both mother and child will come through healthy, whole and content.

Water Births

As I muddle through where I want to have this third baby I keep running into the idea of water birth. My midwife is for water births. She told me a neat story that babies born in water "swim" the length of the tub and their umbilical cord. She said while a baby's skin has not been reached by air it will not breath but will continue to use the oxygen from the cord.

Yesterday the leading midwife in Latvia with water birth experience was on the radio and I just finished listening to the program. It was fascinating and makes me want to try. She said it is easier on the baby to be born in water. My midwife says the same and especially for big babies- she is promising me a big baby this time.

I have been reading about the topic and found this site helpful, here is a section of benefits copied from their page.

What are the potential benefits of water birth?

Benefits for Mother:

• Water is soothing, comforting, relaxing.
• In the later stages of labor, the water seems to increase the woman’s energy.
• The buoyancy lessens her body weight, allows free movement and new positioning.
• Buoyancy promotes more efficient uterine contractions and better blood circulation, resulting in better oxygenation of the uterine muscles, less pain for the mother, and more oxygen for the baby.
• Immersion in water often helps lower high blood pressure caused by anxiety.
• Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors.
• Water causes the perineum to become more elastic and relaxed, which reduces the incidence and severity of tearing and the need for an episiotomy and stitches.
• As the laboring women relaxes physically she is able to relax mentally, concentrating her efforts inward on the birth process.
• The water provides a sense of privacy, which releases inhibitions, anxiety, and fears.

Benefits for Baby:

• Provides a similar environment as the amniotic sac.
• Eases the stress of the birth, providing reassurance and security.

 
 
A couple of my friends have also had their babies in water and are all for it. I guess my biggest fears/concerns are:

• Privacy- I think I would feel too exposed in the water. 
• Comfort- With my births at home I have gone in the tub and didn't like it during my contractions. But the tub is small at home and I didn't have freedom of movement. I don't know if water is my friend enough for me to enjoy a water birth.

And yet I still feel tempted to try this. I want something easier this time. What are your personal experiences? Have you had a water birth after a normal birth?

Sleep

Sleep calls me by name and whispers to me

Wooing and luring and beckoning on

Eyes suddenly heavy and burning with sleep

This babe in my womb is long fast asleep

My energy's gone now, all used up in haste

Too much baking, too many cakes. 

Too long have I stood here brush in my hand

Too long have I turned from this beckoning hand. 

Sleep calls to me now, and once yet again. 

Come hither my child

Come rest in my arms.

Velcro and Elastic

I sometimes have the feeling I am held together with Velcro and compression stockings.

I hope I am not the only woman out there who as she bears more children and grows a few years older finds herself needing more shall we say, "support?"

I have a very minimal problem with veins and so am wearing a compression sock. I usually only wear it on one leg because it annoys me to have a thigh high sock to wear every day. To be honest I do not wear it everyday because I can't put it up with it. I have noticed though that my other ankle swells by the end of the day when I have been on my feet a lot. So I am wearing both compression socks now-no swelling. Yay!

I also find that when I am pregnant my back hurts a lot- from the very beginning. My midwife suggested I try a support belt. I got one the other day FINALLY. It is a dream, though a bit annoying to put on since I have to do so laying down so my tummy and baby will be in the right position. I really enjoy the extra support. But worry I might become too addicted to this. When I take it off my back hurts right away. . .  also when I eat I feel I have no room and have to loosen it if I hope to eat anything.

Oh the joys of pregnancy. This is the third time around for me and though I do have more complaints I must also say I have more joy too.

I want to get some professional photos down during this pregnancy- you never know if there is another baby in the future or not. I am also working on preparing for birth and the section of the book I am now on is art. My first assignment was to draw myself as I see myself pregnant. I had my husband do it as well- we had a good laugh. By the end of my drawing/ sketching assignments it will be interesting to look back and see how I saw myself in various ways: as a pregnant woman, mother, etc.

What did you do to prepare for birth?

Birthing From Within

"Mothers know something other people don't but sometimes they don't know it."

In the book I am reading, "Birthing From Within" by Pam England and Rob Horowitz-it suggests we listen to other birth stories which can help us learn, encourage us and empower us.

What are your birth stories?

• What helped you most when you gave birth?
• If you could do it over again what would you do the same? 
• Is there anything you would do differently? 
• What do you wish you had known beforehand? 

Send your birth stories to silkscarvesbyeli@gmail.com (if you don't want to write them  here)

Thanks!

Worries about Pregnancy, Birth, Motherhood.

I am working through a book for preparation for birth. True this is not my first birth- but I want something different. I want to work through the pain and try to understand if I can birth without it as others do.

The book challenged me to write for 15 minutues about what I fear. Here are a few of those things:

1. Not knowing where I will have my baby ( With the first two I knew where I wanted to- this time I am unsure)
2. Not knowing which midwife to give birth with. (The one I had the first two with or the one I am seeing now?)
3. Tearing 
4. Being out of control during labor. 
5. Pain during the pushing stage that makes me feel I'm going to die. 
6. Health problems after birth. 
7. My kids (where will they be? How will they handle the new baby?)
8. My baby being too big (The midwife says he will be at least as big as the last. She was almost 10 lbs! )
9. Money (I want to be able to afford the kind of birth I desire). The most expensive senerio is still cheap when compared to other countries.  But not cheap for us. ($1200 max.)
10. Child Support (It looks we may not have the government support this time around since I had to leave my job)

What are your worries in regards to birth? What were they then? Did your worries come to pass? 

Ideal Mom

Sometimes I get to thinking I am no the Mom I would like to be. There are so many ways I could improve and yet I am doing my best to be the best Mom I can be. When I imagine the ideal Mom these are some thoughts that come to my mind: (Not in any particular order)

• Patient always.
• Sings lullabies and songs with children. 
• Reads books and spends time teaching children. 
• Has time to home school and do all the other things needed to make a household function. 
• Cares for oneself and looks lovely. 
• Has a good relationship with husband- makes time for date nights. 
• Has a growing relationship with God.
• A mother in prayer for the salvation and spiritual growth of her children. 
• Knows how to creatively discipline and meet each child's individual needs. 
• Cooks well balanced meals that everyone eats. 
• Sews, knits and makes all kinds of handmade goodies and gifts. 
  

My list could go on and on. There are so many little quirks to these that I am not doing, and so many that I am working on.


I am continually desiring to be a better Mom. Yet so often I am tired, worn out and stressed. Being 25 weeks pregnant my back often hurts and I feel so tired I just want to lay down. Sometimes I do just that- then my kids play next to me and we are all happy.


In my quest to become a better Mom, God is continually speaking to my heart. Lately I have been meditating on these verses:


Romans 5: 3-5 (New Living Translation)

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our our confident  hope of salvation. And hope does not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. 

How encouraging to know that God is using ever trial I face as a Mom to make me the person He desires. And what a blessing to know  that the Holy Spirit dwelling in me is proof of God's love for and in me.

Chocoholic

Do you ever wonder if perhaps you might be a chocoholic?

Does the feeling ever sneak up on you that perhaps you enjoy just a bit too much that dark, rich, creamy texture?

I love chocolate. I sometimes get the feeling I have to have it and nothing else will do.

Being pregnant I wonder if I should give it up? But it makes life better and me happier. I guess only those of us who love chocolate could understand that phrase.

I also read in a study that women who ate chocolate while pregnant had happier babies at 6 months than those who didn't eat it.

What is your weakness? Now that I have admitted mine . . .

I really, really want. . . .

So I am pregnant, living in a land far from the USA, and having some cravings that can't be satisfied.

I want:

1. Cheese ravioli
2. Taco Bell Tacos and Nachos
3. Bagels with garden vegetable cream cheese 
4. Pizza Hut
5. Subway

You get the idea. . . all places that don't exist over here :) I am trying to get up the motivation to try and make my own cheese ravioli, but from past experience it is a rather time consuming job.